Fart Machine Poo Poo

***I wrote this two weeks ago and didn't get to finish it, cuz, you know, I was gettin' marrified and all.  So just be thankful with what you get.  I'm on a beach, please annoy Nick instead.

Very very VERY delayed recap after our game against our Oberlin-mandated rivals, the Philadelphia Fart Machine.  But, as I’m getting married in 3 days, you can all go fornicate yourselves with an iron stick.  But let’s move on, shall we?  Only 9 Refugees showed up to the contest and that was regrettable.  Almost had to start with the out for only having 8 but Pete showed up just in time to give us the 9 we needed.  Yay!  Where was Cousins?  No Fing idea.  What stupid ass cousin misses a game against his cousin’s cousin’s cousin?  What a pederast!   It’s just dumb.  Dumb like getting married without a Massi prenup.  Dumb like going to Twatwer’s BBQ.  Dumb like showing up to the orgy with a bunch of your buddies two hours early.  Yeah, dumb.  And once again we were without Skinner who was chasing the ponies.  Text from her says she lost 3 beaks.  No idea what that means.

Well, the game was an interesting one to say the least.  Rice showed up 5 innings late after watching 2 hours of Phyllis driving.  He said he can’t get the images out of his head.  A lot of what happened is strange to me.  In the 5^th inning, the Darkness touched me and I didn’t climb out of the bitter barn for a good solid 2 days.  That stuff is powerful.  What set me off was the fact that Rice maliciously and willfully broke my glove.  Sandbox Olympics followed.  Otherwise, the game was a smashing success for team Refugee against the Farts.  19-14 final.  19 runs is solid especially from a depleted 9 man squad.   Everybody had at least 2 hits I think including outfield-assisted doubles for both myself and Nick.  Thank you Fart Machine outfield which did not show up for the game.  Pete made the only 3-6-3 double play I’ve ever been a part of in softball.  It was pretty spectacular.  Cousins did not have the yips because he didn’t show up.  I don’t know where he was but I get an image of the movie Hostel every time I think about it.  The Black Marino was his typical self with a couple of knocks in key situations as was Verne.  Highlight for me was Nick falling down the outfield hill chasing a fly ball.  He looked like a dolphin trying to hump a lantern.  Graceful.  Whiskey Frank realized he can’t hit a ball past me at short.  Ray decided to demote his entire outfield to AA Camden Fart Machine.  Darryl was traded to the Bad Touch for a couple of bases and the Paul Reiser Couplehood book.  Bearded Jeans Guy played a lock down outfield except whenever Ray was nearby.

And we won...to finish our sweep of the rivals.  And we get to play them a third time (likely) for the 4th year in a row.  Terrific.