Softball Approaching

Less than a month till the start of the season and we've already had 2 practices!!!!! And by we I mean me. Nick's at 1 practice. Derm's at 1 liver transplant. Nevins has been to more Refugee practices than any actual team member. Crap, I think Tap Room Ogre showed last week. Good showing kids, good showing. In light of that fact, and also because I'm trying to get back in to blogging more frequently so that Phyllis "pees her pants," here's a list of how I see the season shaking up.

REFUGEE PRESEASON BIG QUESTIONS

Will I continue the spotlight on the CCSL

How many CCSL girls will Nick sleep with in 2012
0, twitter makes word of STDs much quicker

If I showed the picture above and played sad music with the tag "people we lost in 2011" what would you think about Ed?

How many local news segments will Buddy be on?

How many times will the Wolfpack be mentioned?

How many homeruns will I hit?
I only mention this cause Timmeh said I don't hit for power and he can go fuck himself with an iron stick.

What is the average pass out hour for the LaDarkensses?
Vegas has it at 8:37 pm

What will the best new nickname in the CCSL be?
Early favorite is Phyllis being known as Boobs McShotspusher

How many stampedes with The Dutch Camel be involved in?
Punch Nick once in the stomach for yes, twice for no

How many times will Fordo say "fucking ridiculous."

How many inches did Russ grow on his big boy chart?

Will Professor Nevins ever explain to us how Rick Santorum hasn't been committed?

How many kids will the Marinos show up with?
logarithmic scale only, please

Will Thrillmarth play the whole season?

Will Injurygraham finally have the year where she stays healthy and plays 162?

Will Mickowitz figure it out in his first year of Backup Coach?

Who will be the first to get Gabored?


And here are my PRESEASON PICKS

CCSL 2012 champion: Duh

CCSL MVP for drinking: Brennan
This is the year he buys a case

Most ethnic player?
The Black Marino, suck it Affirmative Action

Most Benson references?
Still me

2012 Social Chair,
Andrea

Girl I masturbate the most to?
Judy Dench

Creepiest CCSL player
Chris M, serious bodyparts in the freezer

Most DUIs
throw a rock

First!

Well kids, unless you've had your head up Benson's ass, we've moved to a new space. And here it is! The name and overall feel of the place will change over the next couple of weeks but the important thing is that you cared enough to check.

So, how was your offseason? Mine sucked cause, well, they call it an offseason since it's boring, cold, and Pamtastic.

Let's recap what's happened and call it a night.

From August to March:

• I'm still drinking gin while I write
• Franklin broke up, Buddy's a douche, and now we have 10 teams
• I got a big boy job
• Ford, Ron, Wagner, Tina, and Spencer all survived the winter and flu season
• Spence's band plays a mean Decemberists cover
• Phyllis's boobs got 2 years younger
• Memorial Nick turned 28 or something, I wasn't paying attention at his birthday party cause his AA sponsor was crying
• Buddy's beard asked for a trial separation
• HaHaAmy still hates us
• ZooChris can make tables in Microsoft Word
• Rice and Ray had a Steel Cage Match for the soul of the Fart Museum
• Pencil got Gabored
• The Darkness drank a bottle of Schnapps and passed out at 8:15
  
• The Marinos all learned how to read
• Derm passed out on the stairs
• Nevins became the fastest Professor
• The Dutch Camel mule-kicked his way into Benson's heart
  
• Memorial Nick got the penicillin he needed
  

Alright kids, still setting up the site and trying to make it better than that shitty one for the Franklin. Who writes that rag anyway? Brennan?