Ball Recaproom

So we lost our first game of the year to our hate rivals, Supernintendo Al and the Ball Tap Room. 10-7. Weak.  Supernintendo Al wasn’t even there but he’s worth -5 runs so maybe that was by design.  I’d like to start off by saying that I initially thought the game was not an Official League Sanctioned Game since no one hit a ball over Nick’s head but then I realized that it was official because Pam egregiously blew a call at first base.  Happens every game, yet still surprised.  Funny.  Call didn’t affect the game in any way, I’m just surprised that I’m surprised.

And on to the game.  Refugees had nearly our entire team while the Ball Taps were missing Supernintendo Al, Massive Head Wound Aaron, and that thing that busts into Balin’s Tomb in the Mines of Moria and stabs Frodo with an orc spear.  We assume Cave Troll Benson couldn’t make the game cause Legolas shot him in the throat but it hasn’t been confirmed.  He may have just had 24 hour syphilis.  We gave up 6 runs in the top of the first which pretty much decided the game.  And tip your hate to them, they earned them.  6 runs, they batted around and had like 9 hits, not errors, hits.  Unfortunately.  But the Refugees rallied back in the bottom of the first by getting 1 hit and no runs.  That’s a momentum swing!  After that, though, things got interesting.  The Ball Taps only scored a scattered 4 more runs while the Refugees kept coming back and clinging to life.  Certainly not due to the first four hitters who accounted for like 3 of our 7 runs and less than half of our RBIs, but rather by the bottom of the order who accounted for the majority.  This was due in part to bombs hit by Skinner and Tap Room Casey which scored 3 runs.  Take away those two doubles and we only score 4 runs.  Which is just plain stupid.  Defense played very well overall by only allowing them to score 10.  But, in this league, you score 7, you lose 99.5% of the time.

It was a strange game, overall, and may be reflective of the direction the league is going.  Here are arguably the two best teams in the CCSL challenging each other for potential homefield in the championship and yet it didn’t seem to have that much competitiveness to it.  Seemed like teams played hard, wanted to win, but didn’t have any of the chippiness that usually accompanies these games.  Just my take.  There was shit talking, don’t kid yourself, but it was more playful than anything else, My narrative doesn’t do it justice, and I don’t wax poetic about books you haven’t read like Whiskey Frank.  I will say this.  We have to play better to beat that team.  And our problem this time was our top 4-6 hitters.  Gotta score more runs than that.  They had absolutely zero difficult plays.  Can’t let that happen, have to press a defense like that.  They let us hang around in the game by doing exactly that themselves after the 1^st inning.  They gave us a chance to win that game.  We just didn’t take it.  And yeah, I’ll admit, I hate losing to Benson.  Who does?

Ralph Kiner Game Notes

·       Nick and I had a combined 1 run, 2 RBI, All stars!

·       We missed Derm’s drunken presence

·       Whiskey Frank’s blog is way WAY sandier than mine

·       Twitwer is a douche

·       I love Resident Evil

·       I don’t get as many texts from the Blogfather since I started calling him the Blogfather.  I may have been Blogdisowned

·       I’ll never play another softball game with Blonde Benson again….until he comes out of retirement for like the 30^th time

·       Massive Head Wound Aaron looks exactly like Ben Folds

·       Demo better have a fucking buffalo chicken hoagie with NO BLEU CHEESE for me next Tuesday

·       Ron, Hoagiefest is Wednesday

·       The Fart Museum is 0-2 since the Darkness got hurt

·       Tim had no errors in a game he played.  Stunned

·       Dr. Verne Benson hates catching line drives in the air

·       Matty Matty Matty has filed a restraining order against Dr. Benson

·       Fishtown Benson only runs when he’s trying to screw me

·       Pam Pammed us in the 1^st inning

·       The Camel likes caramel

·       La Nice ________________  insert young boy reference

·       Supernintendo Al had a board meeting with the King Koopa

Quotes from the Week

“Oh, boy, now I’ll have more time for activities and projects!”

Rice, referring to why he’s quitting softball

“Thanks for showing up on time, Swede.”

“Sorry, I had my urinalysis.”

"In the 'Pines, they called me Hand Job Phyllis."
Fleishanna

"I Love your song 'Brick,' Aaron!"

"Want me to sign your yearbook?"

"That Blonde Benson is one wise cracker, shut yo' mouth!"

Black Marino and/or Joey Fleishoes

"My car won't start."

Mickles

"I smash so I do 6-8 months for mayhem."

Ogre

"Come to my musical, Kyle Jacobs A One Man Show About Breast Cancer."

"I pushed my boobs together so that they would look like a cross-eyed torso. Pow!"

Phyllis

"We beat the Fart Museum by like 30 runs and I had 3 homeruns....can I sleep in the bed tonight, Anne?"
Nevins

"I write a subpar blog with fallacious lies and I once masturbated in the shower.....a Baby Shower."

Twitwer

"I'm salty."

Pickle

"It was my anniversary........and it sucked."

Derm about why he missed the game

"Lesbians?  Yes, ma'am."

Gabor

"Jews run the media."

Pell

"I should have been there but my girlfriend was pegging me."
Cousins

"Traitoring ain't easy."
Tap Room Casey


"Ed, is that a codpiece?"
Joe the Deported


"I love black guys."
Maureen


"Skin that, Benson!  Not have bookies break my legs this week!"
Skinner


"I hate your quotes.  My country wasn't in the Vietnam War.   I'm from the Philippines.  We're what you call a practice country."
Fleishanna

“Yo, haha, I love spanking the Fart Museum.  There’ll be some serious haha’ing on me!  Marlboro’s all around!”

My Man