Way too late update on pencil and stuff

Well, kids, our 1 game against the Writing Fords is in the books thus concluding the 7 fun games that Oberlin scheduled for us this year.  Don’t read into that too much if you’re on one of the “other” teams like the Art Museum.  It’s not that you’re not fun, it’s just that playing you is like watching Derm shower (which is does every Halloween whether he needs it or not).  So we played the Ford Fairlanes in our one game and it was fun.  Lived up to the hype as it goes.  A lot of shit talking, random strategery, hitless Lynch at bats, and dogs.  Yeah, there were like 80 dogs, all of them small, except for Gabor’s which apparently once carried Perseus to kill Medusa.  That’s an original Clash of the Titans reference, not the remake with the assclown from that 3^rd grade coloring book, Avatar.  The final score was 11-3, but in the 4^th inning it was 4-1.  Close game for much of it.  But as the Blogfather once told me in confidence, the Franklin/Refugees always have that one big inning to put it away.  And we did.  And there was much rejoicing.  There were a couple of regrettable basecoaching calls/blunders that we wish didn’t happen.  Oh well.  This game in no way affected the playoff race. 

We played well overall, a few miscues defensively. And Cousins is still trying to fight through the dreaded yips by throwing the cartboard cutout Derm in the back yard.  The cardboard version is much like the regular version, only soberer and not as wet.    Skinpiece had a hit but spent most of the game keeping Gabor from for the Pencil.  Danielle had a hit as did Taproom Casey.  Black Marino hit a ball through the Blogfather in his “anti-Refugee” defensive alignment in right center field.  Offensively, we were fine.  Adam, playing the role of Gonzo, showed up late and went 0 for the 11 spot which is about right.  Top of the lineup played okay enough to win.  Not an elite showing, but solid enough.

I’ve been kind of awful with the writeups this year and for that I do not apologize.  If you want good writing, go to the Blogfathers.  If you want bad writing, go read Flynns.  I’ll wait for you to come back.

Ready?  Okay, let’s get to making fun of people, something that my ego loves to do.

It was a hilarious week for the CCSL.  As many of you know (and attended, Kyle!), my bachelor party was Friday Saturday, and a little Sunday.  It had a strong CCSL contingency, except for Ron, who thought there would be no food.  It was attended by members from the Pencil, Refugees, Tap room, FAMbees, Fart, Franklin, and Collar.  Pickles, Bad Touch, and Zoo get on it for the next time I have a bachelor party.

Many of the incidents described below are private so please do not share it with Frank’s blog.

Ralph Kiner’s Ridiculous Things that Happened or Didn’t’, I was WAY WAY too drunk

Start with the best, a diminutive member of both FAMtation Island and the ‘pines, decided to smash a bottle on the field during play.  Cleanup took 10 minutes.  Said person was penalized by going home with Joey Fleishoes

Krazy Kyle drove by the field 3 times but didn’t stop in.  This begs the question, why was he driving by the Edgely fields on a Saturday afternoon?  Puzzling.

I got to see Swede two straight days.  I feel like his parole officer.

Taproom Casey showed everyone her rocks

Nick did a fabulous job of organizing the festivities….just ask him

My best friend from college sat alone in the shade for 3 hours on Saturday.  Yes, that’s my old drinking buddy.  People get old.  They have kids, they become pussies.  Soft tender gutless pussies.

Phyllis sent me a blow up doll from the Fiancee’s party in Pellaware.  It had been scissored in half.

The following people fell asleep at 4 and couldn’t make it out to the bar:  Haha My Man, TJ Cousins, Russ, Hitler, the bassist from the Pogues, Pennywise from IT, Joey Fleishoes, Johanna Pines, everyone’s wives, and one of the poker playing dogs from the painting

The Darkness became the Darkness at 11:45 EDT

Ford didn’t show up cause Bonnie doesn’t let him “fraternize with lesser beings.”

I got lickered up good and tight, boi!

Your winners from the “Biggest Ego in the CCSL poll:……a tie for first between SAT Maureen and TJ Cousins.   Benson came in 3^rd.   The League polices itself.  SAT Maureen has promised a 300 word narrative to appeal the decision.

Quotes from the Week

“you look like a fart.”

“I can’t believe I have more ego votes than Nick”

SAT Maureen

“yo boyee! Clock in!”

“Your blog sucks this year.”

“I’m aware”

a bunch of people to me

“You told me to get out of here cause you were gonna ‘slam Alyssa.’”

Yeah, sorry Mickles

“I couldn’t make it to your bachelor party because a bunch of hobbits kept me out until sunrise and I turned to stone.”

Taproom Troll

"Jinkees, this sure sounds like a mystery to me!"

"Shut the fuck up Twatwer!"

"Easy top 3 egos, you, Marcus, Dennis."

Big whiff there, but the irony is delicious

"I miss my softball friends, Nicole!"

Blonde Benson

"Don't worry, honey, I"m sure Ryan will call you a walking nutpunch at some point."

Mrs Blonde Benson

"Watch!  I can lick my own taint."

Derm, and the reason the bachelor party ended a bit early

"We have the permit for Edgely 8, Saturdays at 3."

"Really?  That's weird, Renardo didn't mention anything about it."

Nick and some jagoff

" I need more baseball leagues if I'm ever gonna get drafted at 39."

The original

"I'm hitting a mom!"

Yes you are, buddy

"I've been such a drunk fuck this week, I missed a lot of the good stuff."

me, unfortunately

"A bachelor party!  And I didn't separate my shoulder!"

Spence