Clap Clap Clap Clap

So, Mickey learned how to putt.  Yes, I had written a diffferent post, but after reading his little love letter, I've altered my plan.  

We are the jilted lover.  You left us, not the other way around.  It was tough at first, but you chose the younger, sexier, beardier version of us.  We asked you back and what did you say?????  You said you'd think about it.

So we moved on, got some self-confidence back. Sure we tried other teams, cut ourselves in the mirror while crying, watched a lot of Meg Ryan movies, ate a lot of chocolate ice cream (Renardo!), drank a lot of gin, and tried to pull ourselves out of the gutter than Tucker lives in.  But it's not the same.  It'll never be the same.  That's what you did to us.  And now, we have to move on, like Tucker to an out of district middle school, there will always be someone who doesn't know what you've done.  Do I regret the last 8 years?  No.  Do I regret how they ended?  I don't know, I've been ginning since 7.  But well played Mickles, good post little redheaded stepblogger. 

On with the fun.

 

Well, kids, it was a tough loss….but we carry on.  Oh, no, wait, it was Buddy.  The same Buddy who “guaranteed” a victory in February.  He will now forever be known as The February Champion^TM.  You can’t win championships in Feb, guys.

So our game was postponed cause of darkness after 6 at 29-14.  A high scoring affair to say the least and certainly entertaining, even for the 2 innings that Pete saw.  I don’t have the book in front of me so the box score will have to wait.  It wasn’t close and it wasn’t pretty.  Lots of errors, miscues, and bombs by the visiting team.  Only 9 Refugees showed up at the start, the other members were cast away from the floating door as we neared the shore.  Many had scurvy, some didn’t have the funds to pay for the travel.  One Refugee was cast overboard to send a message….That Refugee was Chris M cause he’s a douche.   Here's where Mickey would wax poetic about what things meant in the grand scheme of things...but I'm a blog veteran.  70% of people reading this are just skimming till they see their name.  Right Nevins?

Our Team

Derm didn’t have a homerun making it a 2-game HR-less drought.  2^nd longest of his career.  The longest, of course, was as many games as he had played in prior to hitting his first against the Constitution Pickles.  Gonzo got some work in at short and 3^rd and learned the hard way that you have to move towards the ground ball in order to throw someone out.  In his defense, he was throwing to Ed, our new 2-hitter. 

Others

 Let’s discuss the fun we had with our dirty old uncle, the Franklin Institute.  A place I called home for the better part of 8 seasons.  Sad to see it go.  Sadder to see it run into the ground by Mickey’s horrible infrastructure.  But we move on. 

How many former TFI’s started for the Fighting Mickles?  Let’s see, Brett Favre, Mickey, Wiggz (with absolutely no life or personality whatsoever last night. Hmm.), Chandra, Barb (ish), Jason “I can’t beat the shift”, Pickle (no he has his own team), Pat (no he has his own team), Vellia (no he’s in prison for exposing himself to police horse) Buddy (with beard), Deb (Buddy didn’t even play her), Alyssa (sans Ziggy) and Mrs. Candy…..That might be it.  Wish I had the book.  Where was Tucker? Has his wyld ryde finally ended?  How bout that dude Fonio?  Or Jim something?  Anyway, about half the starting Micklin Instituters were rookies.  Advanced scouting kept the team in the game for 3 hitters as Mickles decided to put rookie Maureen into right center to make me fly out to her 4 times.  I tried.  I was unsuccessful.  I’m sorry Maureen. 

In the top of the 1^st, Buddy surprised everyone, except his father who was at Edgely 4 watching a different team, by making a play on a ground ball from Ed.  There was a standing ovation.  He later gave it back when Moira hit a similar groundball and it ate him up like La Nice at a 15 year old Puerto Rican Neck Convention.  The Mickles did spray the ball around a little bit and scored 14 runs on a drunk, injured, heckletastic Refugee team so give them some credit.  Done. 

Now on to other stuff.

I’ve remembered that part of what made my blog suck slightly less than The Blogfathers’s last year was that we had weekly awards.  So let’s bring some of those back.  We’ll start small.

Best play of the night:  Sorry, but it goes to me for throwing the ball at Mickey coaching 3^rd and banking it off the fence to knock over his beer.  Win.

Worst play of the night:  Nick dropping Mickey’s intentional fly ball and allowing the little Irishman to scamper/giggle his way around the bases

Best idea of the night:  Me again, for wasting everyone’s time by bringing the book to shortstop so I could write down how many FC’s Buddy had

Revelation of the night:  Moira explaining to Skinner that we were being so overtly mean to the other team because they kicked us off their team last year.  Skinner giggling.

Slowest driver of the night: Pete

Weekly Paul-not-showing up Award: Paul

Ralph Kiner’s Post game Thoughts

·       Wagner’s a solid 2 hitter when Buddy doesn’t get in his head

·       Jason can be “benson’d” with position shifting

·       Mickles “don’t like to be throwed at”

·       Maureen thinks I’m creepy

·       Maureen’s right

·       Nick got his 30 runs

·       Should have taken the over

·       Barb plays unsportsmanlike especially with broken shortstops trying to score

·       Alyssa is meaner without Ziggy

·       I miss Ziggy

·       Buddy would rather get beat by us than deal with the fact that the Flyers are done

·       Renardo’s black

·       Gonzo likes to go to bars

·       Pete drives like a dead mermaid with Alzheimer’s

·       Kyle doesn’t like to be called a Nazi

·       Mickey should not have stayed

·       Brett Favre doesn’t like to be called Brett Favre.  Based on his attire, he prefers to be called 1920’s Pippi Longstocking (cause they didn’t have color back then)

·       Skinner thinks she joined the weirdest team

·       Skinner’s right (but glad she did cause it means less Gabor texting time)

·       I haven’t mentioned Timmeh yet which means he didn’t do anything to embarrass himself

·       Turd Ferguson

Quotes from the Week

“Buddy you just committed a hate crime!”

When Buddy tried to push the Black Marino off the bag

“I can’t believe I flied out to Pippi Longstocking!”

Moira

“They’re rattling my cage!”

Alyssa

“I’m going to go pee but really I’m going to cry.”

Derm referencing how Nick puts too much pressure on the team

“I forgot my glove.”

Moira

“Moira, can you move a little to the left?”

“Gonzo, move over to your left….no left…..No left!!!!  Oh, I mean right.”

Me, unfortunately

“My boobs are like “POW” today.”

Phyllis

“nailed that girl pitcher with a line drive!  Slam!”

La Nice

“I have a Manayunk league so I can’t play and I suck and nobody likes me and my penis is small and dark and I have a beard that sometimes gets food stuck in it.”

Darkness

“But I don’t wanna make the lineup this week!!!!!!”

Nevins

“I’m still dead.”

Willmarth

“You’re a very lucky woman, Moira.”

Mickey, in no way sarcastically

“The Collar pickled us tonight.”

Pat

“Since when do you take instruction?  Just write funny stuff!”

Yes, Blogfather

“You guys are such asses!  I hate you!  I’ve never playing again!”

Sadderm

“At least I didn’t get quoted.”

Maureen

“Take that, Honkies!”

Barb

“Yeah, I know who Pete is!”

Deb

"Does Dorothy know that you're not under the house?"

Nick to Brett Favre

"Is it in?  I can't feel it."
Tina

"Yo, my n____ haha seriously haha."
Foreigner

“I should be having more fun but none of these girls go to Temple.”

Who do you think?

“I didn’t go to any of these games tonight but you better believe I’m drunk wherever I am.”

Whiskey Frank

“It’s too cloudy and pasty outside so I don’t exist….or can’t be seen by the naked eye.”

Rice

“My dad doesn’t take pictures of me anymore now that we’re 0-3.”

Buddy

“I’m not traveling up to Belmont!”

Paul

“I’m already to play, Tuesday!”

Matty

“I agreed to be a power bottom so I’m gonna miss Monday’s game, Skip.”

Verne

“Do these socks make me look gay?”

“No, everything else does.”

Brett and Jason

"Elmer, do you hate the fact that Mark Ruffalo played you in the movie?"
Me to Taproom Ogre

“The shift is in my head!”

Duh

"Auntie Charlie, Auntie Charlie, it's a twister, it's a twister!"

   

This picture is Nick Tebowing in centerfield.