The Salty Vegetable

AKA: Benedict Pickle
Team:  Who the fuck knows, Constipickle Center?
CCSL origin story:  Grew up a poor cucumber till one day, walking home from school, he slipped and fell into a bucket of salt, vinegar, and disappointment
Claim to fame:  Won the pool on this blog
Last big win:  n.a.
Next big win:  16-5 over Franklin
Catch phrase:  I matter!
Favorite movie: Babe: Pig in the City
Real Name:  Brian something
Finish the madlib:  Pickle is  _________ (adj,) than ________(#) _________(farm animal) using their _____________(fornication noun) to _______(v) their ____________ __________________ ___________ (something perverted involving fruitloops, paint thinner and a used diaper)
Favorite CCSL player:  Pat
Number of other people who know who he is:  3, his mom, his parole officer, and "Rico" at the Cave
Occupation:  Bill Nye's stunt double
True or False:  Pickle has The Blogfather's autograph, True
Best Idea for a screenplay:  James Bond saves the day but then doesn't sleep with the girl. Instead, he takes her out to dinner then leaves early because he has a head cold.  The rest of the movie is Bond watching the movie Without A Paddle
Date of pickling:  summer, dickety 6
Best friend:  old lefty
Postition:  Pitcher
True or False:  Pickle once went to lunch with Steve Jobs, True, but not the computer guy.  This Steve cleans up the aisles in the movie theater
Tina injury likelihood factor:  11
Career CCSL hits:  4, but only cause that fucker Nick wouldn't play him
Arch rival:  Buddy
CCSL all star main event:  Buddy v Pickle in a no-holds barred one man chicken fight
If he could be anyone else:  Bella from Twilight

How'd he get his nickname:  ask Mickey, something about being a shovel taster or something dumb