Lucky there's a FAMbly team

Sorry for the posting delay, kids, but these things happen when you’re the premier CCSL blogger and you have to deal with media, advertising, and other marketing responsibilities.  But let’s get to it.  It was a busy CCSL week and I’ve got a lot of people to make fun of.  So let’s get cracking.

First, our game.  What can I say about our 14-4 win over the potato FAMines.  We played 3 girls (each of whom had a hit, including Tap Room Casey’s first in the Refugee blue).  Scored 4 in the first to tie the game 4-4 after Matty Matty did not read the ball well on a pop fly.  In trying to make an appropriate reading comparison I would like to render some suggestions and we’ll see which is best.  Matty read that ball like Buddy trying to read Dickens.  Matty got such a good read on that ball that Pennsylvania lost $75000 in Federal literacy funding.  Matty got a worse jump than Mickey reading Goosebumps….I think I’ll stop there.

Nick started the scoring off in the 1^st inning by singling right through Tina on the mound.  He would have absolutely drilled her had it not simply gone through her ectoplasm.  If she had opted for the typical white sheet and chains, she might have been able to knock it down and make a play.  We scored 6 more in the 3^rd and it was pretty much academic from that point on.  Nikki continued her 2 game injury-free streak by not playing and by staring daggers at Ray wherever he was.  Joe G showed up thanks to a work visa and played well despite cutting grass all day. Skinner and Danielle all played well…this was easier when I had the book.  Aside from Matty’s missed ball which led to 3 runs in the 1^st, the FAMtastic fourteen never really got anything going.  Which is Refugee tradition for a 5-0 team.  Boom.

Ralph Kiner’s Game Notes

·      Mickey again screwed his team by not showing up for his 8-6 loss to the Zoo.  I don’t believe in Jebus but if I did, I’d think that he hates the Franklin Institute

·      Nick learned how to use the group text function on his “smart phone”

·      Ryan Reynolds is way more masturbateable than Keira Knightley

·      The Darkness has knee ovaries

·      Ed gets mean when he goes to Catahoula

·      I love LOVE Silent Hill

·      Pickle is a salty vegetable….going through puberty

·      Phyllis’s nipples are crabtastic!

·      Verne Siebert was nominated to the Fishtown all star team….so, of course, he’s now Dr.Benson

·      Where is my pink bat, Camel????

·      Donny Money is the best 70s porn star that I know

·      The Blogfather hates covering NBA playoff basketball almost as much as we all hate watching it

·      It’s 10 o’clock on Friday night, right now, so Ray is asleep, dreaming of hitting balls at female pitchers

·      And Frank is dreaming of cheap whiskey following by unmotivated cat-hating

·      Kyle is dreaming of racism

·      Pam is dreaming of texting everyone else

·      Gabor is dreaming of whatever Pam is dreaming of

·      Dr. Benson is dreaming of Matty

·      I’m dreaming of singing this Snow Patrol song some more 

Quotes from the Week

“I’m in the basement with a young Polish boy.”
La Nice

“Just say yes. Just say there’s nothing holding you back.”
Snow Patrol, yup, told you

“Okay, I will break in and leave it on the table, haha, my man.”
Lynch, about his urinalysis

“Phyllis Demon has bombs.”
Blogfather

“Yo, you should have bet on this, yo, it was closer than you thought!”
Joey Fleishshoes

“I peed on my ex once in the shower. She didn’t appreciate it.”
Darkness

“Look at Raymond, isn’t he a frostman’s age?”
Shut the fuck up Kyle, nobody reads Shakespeare

“You chose…poorly.”
Crusade Knight to Tina

“Loving you is easy cause you’re beautiful.”
John Stamos’ younger brother

“My cousin is way better than me……too bad he spends every Tuesday night dressed up like Diana Ross and entertains the fleet.”
TJ

“My labia is inflamed.”
Rice

“she made me crap somewhere.”
Ed, about his wet nurse

“I had a good read on that.”
No you didn’t, Matty

“Stop playing in foul territory Pete!”
Me, 2006

"Thanks for kicking our ass in '69!"

Pete to Johanna

"Giggity!"
Quagmire


"Ray is the Stalin of my wrist...uh....Russians."
Nikki


"Are the pools, eh, clean, senor?"
You know who


"And you lived your life, like a candle in the wind."
Ed to Carolyn, post-race


"fuck you Mickey!  that could have been 1!"
Buddy, Candy, throw a Franklin rock


"Still Pow!"
Still Phyllis boobs


"Anybody wanna go see the Everly Brothers at Silk City this Monday afternoon?"
Gabor